After all the great responses I got from the blog that Michelle wrote, I may let her do another one. The mortuary was a little busier in March, and so I am a little late getting to this month’s blog.  As you can see from the title, I’d like to discuss the importance of funerals. I’m sure most of you are thinking you already know that.  But as a funeral director I hear a lot of statements from others that make me think otherwise.

These are just some statements I hear from others when discussing funerals plans. I have heard these multiple times from multiple people.

“When I die just take me out to the desert and let the coyotes take care of me”

               I know when I hear this that they are just being funny, but I know they are saying this because they really don’t want others to worry about them when they die.

“I don’t want a viewing; I don’t want people to stare at me when I’m dead”

               I’m usually thinking they have been to a viewing where the person didn’t look very good or they had a bad experience at a viewing and they don’t want others to feel the way they did.  Hopefully wasn’t a service I did, I always to my best to make the person look as good as possible.

“Just cremate me and scatter me in the mountains”

               I think this goes with the thought I just don’t want anyone to worry about me when I die.

“I don’t like viewings/funerals”

               I don’t think anyone likes going to them. We go to support the family of the deceased and/or to help yourself deal with the loss. It’s not about looking at a dead body.

In most cases when I hear these statements I know they just don’t want people to worry about them or they think they are doing their friends or family a favor it making their death easier to deal with. Unfortunately, they are in many cases doing the complete opposite. My recommendation is to not take away from your family the opportunity to have a viewing or a funeral. The value in the funeral is to help get closure and help process the death. I personally don’t think you can put a monetary value on that. Even when my own grandfather died, he had a prepaid funeral plan and only paid for a cremation service. My family ended up upgrading to have a viewing and a funeral, but still had him cremated. My family knew they needed a funeral/viewing but still honored his wishes in having him cremated. I guess what I am trying to say is I know that is important to honor the deceased person wishes, but don’t let that take away from those that are left here to deal with their loss.

I continue to welcome any feedback good or bad.